I had recently moved to Baltimore, back in December of 2016, a week before Christmas. It was a nervous time for me, getting ready to start a new job, meet new people, explore a new city and partake in normal degeneracies on the weekends. Upon arrival to my new living quarters, I had noticed that about 100 feet away was a corner bar called THE LIGHTHOUSE TAVERN. And like the main purpose of a light house is to navigate a ship safely home, it was an immediate sign from the dive bar gods, that I was home! I was uncertain of when I would finally step foot into the light house, but it took about 4 days, when I finally pulled the trigger and took the half a block walk there.
Located in the Canton section of Baltimore, The Lighthouse Tavern is a hidden gem amongst other local watering holes. Away from the flashing lights and glamour of “The Square” (I will review some places from there for my next articles) the Light House is a quaint yet seedy establishment that appeals to the young and old, the good-looking and not so good looking, the rich and poor and any other demographic you can think of.
After I had been bailed on by a fucking tinder date, I proceeded to head to light house to grab some drinks and maybe try a little bit of the fare. After my 4th miller light I started to get a little hungry. Instead of asking for a menu I looked around at the bar and began asking patrons what was good here. Some old fuck, who couldn’t sit up in his seat, said “everything” another drunkard told me to go with the crab pretzel (still haven’t had that yet, and I’m pretty fucking pissed I haven’t tried that) another patron had mentioned a chicken parm pizza, I looked at that mother fucker like they had 32 heads. First off, I’m from the Philly area, I know pizza, and guess what? MARYLAND SUCKS DICK AT FUCKING PUSSY at making pizza. So immediately that choice was a no. Then the bartender Jay, a big, burly, bearded motherfucker from Long Island recommended the JAY BURGER. At first I was hesitant because 1, I had no clue what was going to be on it, and 2, it was a dive bar burger, (probably was gonna be some frozen patty or shit like that). I said “well by the looks of you, I assume it can’t be that bad” he replies back “trust me” So I did. About 15 minutes later out comes a towering platter of waffle cut sweet potato fries and this monstrosity of a burger. At first glimpse I said to myself “holy fuck this is no regular dive bar burger” On it was easily a half pound of bacon and, after biting into the burger, the most perfectly cooked fried egg. That’s it. Later, as I looked at the menu, with the infamous “JAY MARINO PIRATE EYE” (I was about 10 Miller Lights and 3 Jack Honeys deep) the description read “JAYS FAVORITE! ANGUS BEEF, YOUR CHOICE OF CHEESE, BACON and A FRIED EGG. NO VEGGIES!” By no means was this the best burger I have ever eaten, but it easily ranks in my top 10 sitting probably some where in the middle. And for $13 the amount of food on that platter is enough to satisfy any burger/breakfast craving one may have.