Welcome to the first installment of Jay’s 3 Point Play. This week’s post will rank Wings in the local area and are purely based on my opinion. At the end I will add in a random gripe I have with one restaurant or company so stay tuned for that rant. This week we will focus on Arby’s and how they piss me off to no end.
Now on to the wings rankings:
#3. The Jug – Coming in at #3 is the Jug Handle Inn, Cinnaminson NJ. The Jug battles Jay’s Elbow Room as one of the top dive bars in the area. I head right downstairs to the basement bar when I go and post up there for at least 3 hours as to me there is no such thing as a quick trip to the Jug. It looks a little depressing at first but once you are down there having a drink you just start to feel the bar sucking the inner degeneracy out of you. For the wings I go with an order of the Hot Garlic. Sometimes I will throw honey or maybe a BBQ twist in there but to be honest Hot Garlic is the way to go. I don’t like my wings breaded and prefer them crispy but the Jug’s breaded wings are so good that I throw that requirement out the window. The Jug rocks the full wings (which I am a HUGE fan of) with some drumsticks mixed in. They have just the right amount of heat and the garlic is spot on. Disclaimer: the garlic is pretty kicking so if you are trying to creep on some old ladies then avoid it like the plague and maybe even the wings altogether. Overall, if I am going to the Jug then I am getting me some wings which is why they make this list.
#2. Jays Elbow Room – At #2 is Jay’s Elbow Room in Maple Shade, NJ. We all know Jay’s is the #1 Dive Bar in the area and if you want to get the full atmosphere of Jay’s read our joint review here. For the wings I go with my custom order of Hot Honey Garlic (you may see a theme here with me and garlic) and they never disappoint. Just the right amount of crispiness and perfect mix of honey and garlic really get the taste buds going. If you just want a little taste go with the order of 8 but if you are there for a full day of football go with the 16 and share a couple with your buddies or the random borderline homeless guys scattered around the bar.
#1. Pics – Now for the #1 wing and if you disagree well then you my friend can go straight to hell. Somewhere on Route 206 between Nowheresville and Neverland is The Pic-A-Lilli Inn, Shamong NJ which will be referred to as Pics from here on out. If you pull in the parking lot and you aren’t on a motor cycle or in a Ford F250 then you will feel like you don’t belong at first. I almost got in an accident in the parking lot because some clown sandwiched one of those smart cars in between two trucks and you couldn’t see it because it is an embarrassment of a vehicle. However, once you stumble inside you get that comforting feel. I have been going to Pics since I was in high school and the play was always Spicy for me. Now for the newbies their spicy sauce is between the mild and hot. I have had the hot before and honestly unless you like torturing your intestines later that night stay away from it. Spicy does exactly what it should from a heat level but the flavor of the spicy sauce is just out of this world. Add in the fact that they have full wings like the Jug and you just can’t beat this place. Also, if you like to mix and match like I do then get a side of Garlic Parm wings as well and really start punishing your innards. Pics has All-You-Can-Eat wing night every Wednesday but if I am being honest I like to go on Monday’s for BOGO which if I order 13 wings I get 26 and that is more than enough for me. Also, you can mix wings with their tails which are also great. The only thing that stinks about Monday night is they used to have trivia which was fun if you went with a group of people but now they have Bingo which may be the lamest thing ever. So Pics, if you ever read this, bring back trivia please. There aren’t enough geriatrics coming out on Monday night to make Bingo the right call.
So to recap The Jug and Jay’s have a great wing but Pics owns the best wing and I would put them up against anyone in the country. However, if you have a spot that you think can rival these 3 then please leave a comment as I am always down to try somewhere new.
Okay now for my Arby’s gripe. First of all who the hell goes there and why are they littered all over this god forsaken area? Literally every time I see an Arby’s I say to myself “Why isn’t that a Taco Bell?” and then I get pissed off and go to Wendy’s or Chic-fil-a (not bad options but still). Then on a nice Tuesday evening when I am sitting around trying to crush a good 5 hours of Seinfeld and Big Bang Theory after work I have to suffer through James Earl Jones saying “Arby’s, We Have The Meats” 30 times when we all know damn well that Arby’s couldn’t produce a real piece of meat if you made them slaughter a cow right there in the restaurant. I mean people have to be going because they can’t afford all of those commercials if people aren’t buying that roast beef that looks like hot garbage and probably tastes like Leer’s foot.
Well I feel better that I got that little rant off of my chest. Thanks for that Arby’s and keep doing what you are doing because obviously something is going right for your brand if you can afford all of this marketing. And if I am being honest their fish sandwich commercial did make me laugh out loud the first time I saw it. Well played Arby’s…well played.
But I still hate you!