Let Me Tell You What The REAL Problem is Mr Mayor

Grubstreet.comIn recent weeks, riding the subway has become New Yorkers’ second-biggest nightmare (the first: being consumed whole by a pack of enraged rats). Desperate to improve rider morale, if not the actual tracks, MTA chief Joe Lhota yesterday suggested banning messy foods, but surely Bill de Blasio doesn’t want to return to this kind of Bloombergian nanny state–ism. This is a mayor who admits to having “a certain admiration” for Pizza Rat, after all.

The MTA argues that food causes platform litter that creates track fires that, in turn, make New Yorkers angry. Which is a fair point further emphasized by Monday’s garbage track fire that snarled rush-hour service for thousands of commuters, stranded cars in a tunnel full of smoke, and hospitalized nine people. Apparently, it’s made Lhota ready to abandon his previous opposition to a food ban. “I want to get to the point where we have no fires in the system,” he explained at yesterday’s press conference. “These fires all start with trash being thrown down there. We need to stop throwing trash on the tracks.”

It sounds like the NYC mayor is finally going to solve the oh so many problems with their subway system by banning “messy” foods. And by solve I mean fail miserably in an attempt to corral New Yorkers into listening to some asinine ordinance that no one will be able to enforce.

Apparently the horrible subway conditions are making New Yorkers angry. News Flash: EVERYTHING makes New Yorkers angry. If you think they stroll into the subway all jolly with no worry in the world then you are an idiot. Sure do rats the size of small dogs not help their morale? I am going with no they don’t. Do hobo’s covered in their own piss help their morale? I think not. How about the terrible human beings littered throughout the actual subway car? What is your plan for that? Banning messy foods is like putting a band aid on a broken leg. Not gonna work sir. Just waste more money paying someone $10 an hour to enforce this and then watch some “happy” New Yorker spit in their face or dump a carton of old Chinese food on their head.

The MTA chief who is in the Mayor’s ear then backs off his comments of banning the foods to maybe just educating the people of New York about what shouldn’t be brought into the subway. Try telling that to a New Yorker after they have been up since 5am riding with a bunch of pissed off people going to a job they hate for 8 hours just to get right back on the subway again. That will earn him a nice smack in the mouth and a 12 pound rat shoved up his ass.

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This is New York were talkin about fella. Go back to your desk, take a nap, collect the insane amount of money you don’t deserve and let the rats and hobo’s take care of the subway like they’ve been doing forever.

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