Geeks.Media – **MK is part of the JG blogging team. Besides an insatiable passion for food, she also loves dragons and 12-year-old assassins. With that being said, here’s her take on the first two episodes of GoT season 7.**
Game of Mic Drops
If I had to sum up the first episode of Game of Thrones season 7 in one sentence, it would be “winter came and so did I.” When I grow up I want to be Arya Stark, mass genocide and all, you can’t argue with the fact that she’s a bad motherfucker. Like many GOT fans I had been laying in wait for years to see how the Starks would get their revenge for the absolute soul-crushing event known as “the red wedding.” Honestly, though the death of an entire family 5 minutes into the episode doesn’t surprise me anymore; the real shock would come if someone actually died of natural causes.
Also just a quick aside to Ed Sheeran’s cameo in the episode, everyone needs to chill. 1) His presence inspired some delightful memes that really brightened my Monday morning. 2) If you were famous enough to get into an episode of GOT would you not take full advantage of it?! 3) He has the voice of an angel so let him flourish.
Moving onto the woman we all love to hate, Cersei Lannister, who is now making moves to team up with Lord Crazy Eyes of the Iron Islands. He has no shame throwing shade to Jamie and his lack of hands. If I’m being honest, he looks like the type of dude who would poke a hole in a condom, but do your thing girl.
Finally, we can round out this brief synopsis with all the logical people left on GOT:
Sam—Living his life as cinder-fella and discovering facts that could potentially save the realm, you know the usual.
Jon Snow—Still attempting to drop logic on the people of the north (with the assistance of the most bad ass 12-year-old to ever walk the land).
Daenerys—”Shall we begin.”
Game of Mic Drops Part Two
Episode two started with The Mother of Dragons living up to her title and coming in hot at Lord Varys. Personally, I was sitting there feeling uncomfortably worried for the Spider but he was ready with some truth bombs. I’ve never respected the Master of Whispers more than at that moment. At first, I thought this was going to be the craziest moment from team Stormborn; however, I was mistaken because that verbal showdown got surpassed twice.
The second “oh shitttttt” moment happened when Grey Worm out kicked his coverage to land the smoke show that is, Messendi. Grey worm, you’re the real MVP man. We’re going to switch gears for a moment and talk about a couple things we’ve been waiting to see happen. First my idol, main chick, and spirit animal Arya Stark on the road back to Winterfell. Shout out to Hot Pie for setting her straight, I was slightly worried she wasn’t going to go through with it. Second, JON SNOW IS GOING TO FINALLY MEET DAENERYS AND I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED.
Also, I really enjoyed how Sansa immediately shut up after she was put in charge like “yeah I guess that’s cool.” The only thing that made me smile more was Jon Snow putting Littlefinger in a one-handed chokehold. THE KING OF THE NORTH!
Ok so now we have to circle back to the third and final “oh shittttt” moment from Daenerys and company. It started when Euron ‘Crazy Eyes’ Grey came in like a wrecking ball to pick up his “gift” for Cersei. It escalated so quickly moving from a simple twat blocking to a tfull-blown massacre. I wasn’t really bummed when two of the Sandsnakes got taken out (I was never a big fan), but the real holy shit moment came from old reliable Theon. Of course, Euron took everyone out, since he’s a giant insane person… that seemed obvious.
Instead of trying to do anything of value to help the situation, right on cue Theon went full Reek and jumped off the ship. No seriously, he literally stared at his sister and uncle for a strong 30 second and sprinted faster than Usain Bolt and jumped off the damn ship.
Theon, I deem you, “Captain Poor Decisions.”
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