News – “HAWES: The struggle over fast food is real” – My wife says I’m bad at buying fast food. She might have a point.

Not long ago, I stopped at our favorite hamburger place to pick up dinner on the way home from work. The cashier took my money, handed me two drinks and a bag of food and sent me on my way.

When I got home, my wife was disappointed.


“There’s only one sandwich in here, and it’s not a hamburger, it’s chicken,” she said.

I grabbed the bag and headed back to the restaurant. It was a busy night, so I had to stand in line.

“May I help you, sir?” the kid asked when I reached the counter.

I gave him my bag.

“I hope so,” I said. “I just went through the drive-thru, and I think I got someone else’s food. I ordered two hamburgers, and it looks like I ended up with one chicken.”

The kid looked at me with uncertainty.

“Do you have a receipt?” he asked.

I took a deep breath, as I pondered the question. Where would I find that receipt? And what made him think my receipt would be right if my order was wrong?

“Listen,” I said. “I’m a pretty unhappy customer right now, but if I have to drive back home to look for that receipt, I’ll be a lot less happy.”

The kid’s look changed to fear.

“Let me get the manager,” he said.

The manager didn’t hesitate. She put a rush on my food order, and when it was ready, she delivered it personally, along with coupons for two free meals.

We’ve all been here…now I have been trained by the great Mama Biddle in all aspects of the fast food drive-thru warfare…but every once in awhile I trust the people and don’t check the bag….and almost every time that I do that….they fuck something up….gotta stay on your p’s and q’s in this food game

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