washingtonpost.com – Unlike other doughy treats, biscuits don’t usually call for proofing or rising. It makes them seem like a relatively uncomplicated indulgence.
Alas, there are plenty of ways to mess them up.
A blind taste test of the D.C. area’s fast-food biscuits brought to light a few lackluster options. That’s not to say they were all bad. In fact, the No. 1 pick genuinely surprised our judges, who had thought Chick-fil-A or Popeyes would have been the best of the bunch.
Judges were asked to sample six varieties; provide notes on texture, taste and appearance; and rate them on a scale of 1 to 5 — 1 being a “bad” biscuit they’d never want to eat again and 5 being the best biscuit they’d ever had. (Spoiler alert: None of them earned the top score of 5.)
Below are our findings, ranked from least to most enjoyable.
Average score: 1.5
Comments: It tastes like lies. Too dense. Looks dry to the eye. It’s very dry, as though it’s been sitting out too long. It has a cracker-like flavor. Doesn’t taste like a biscuit. Like cardboard. This biscuit tastes like disappointment. It’s too crumbly. A cake-like rock. Dense, dry, requires a gallon of water after chewing. I feel as though the bottom crust will get caught in my throat. Made an audible crunch when I bit into it. Tastes like eating a salty rock.
First Big Al’s slander and now this, I will not stand for all this Popeye’s biscuit slander…the very same biscuits that were the inspiration behind one of the best vines ever created.