News – “Can a rack of ribs fit in your pants?” – A 26-year-old man was arrested after a report he “removed a full rack of ribs from his waistband,” an affidavit states.


The man accused Dec. 15 of pulling pilfered meat from his pants was identified by Martin County Sheriff’s deputies as Maeli Aguilar-Alvarez, of Indiantown.

A sheriff’s sergeant reported spotting Aguilar-Alvarez exit Rines Market IGA about 6:15 p.m. before plucking the ribs, which typically are high in fat and great in taste, from his trousers.

It’s unclear whether the ribs were of the beef or pork variety.

Sooooooo many questions 1. Word? 2. You were just gonna serve pant ribs to your people? 3. How the hell were you walking with a full slab of ribs in your pants? 

Beef or pork is definitely a solid question here, as a member of the Pork Sweat Boys we always need to know these things…. I’m not sure if I should be this gentleman’s best friend or not…. I need more time to think about this



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