JG Original: Ketchup

Yo so I walk into Wildfire Studios Sunday for episode 15 of the Podcast aka our Cheesesteak Block Party episode. I had two big ass Fat Louies cheesesteaks in my hands and a bag with plates and napkins and all that good stuff. Also in that bag was nice fresh bottle of ketchup for anybody on that show that wanted to partake. That’s when I was immediately hit with a look of disgust from our engineer Taylor. Like you would have thought that he was looking at a combination of Tyrone Hill, Sam Cassell and Steve Buscemi. Just unequivocally ugly. I tried to ignore his look of disdain for the bottle of ketchup and that’s when our good pal Chef Tim Lopez came in and started ROASTING the ketchup also. Ketchup was just minding his business and all of a sudden he was a victim of a 15 minute flame session. Chef Tim was asking who brought that, calling it a child’s food and why the hell is that on the table. When did it get to this man. The damn White Sox have dedicated a whole campaign to slandering ketchups good name smh.

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Look how excited that man is for ketchup, got him drooling in anticipation for baes corned beef hash and poached eggs (what kind of fucking dinner?)

People please hear my plea. I don’t know when this revolution started but stop judging us ketchup users. Every time we go to an event I feel Mo shooting daggers at me and anyone else that uses the delightful red condiment. It’s one thing to not like something but you almost feel like you’ve been walking around with your fly down and your balls hanging out whenever you ask for ketchup these days. I’m not saying I need to abuse the ketchup or that I’m slathering my food in it but geez a little bit of ketchup never hurt anyone damnit. All you people who are eating your fries dry as fuck with nothing to go with them are serial killers anyway so why the hell are you judging us?!

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okay you can judge this but still my point remains

I don’t know where all this ketchup hate came from or how it got started but enough is enough! We can live in a world where you can enjoy your dry ass food and I can enjoy my ketchup peacefully at the same table…judgement free. Let’s be better as humans and let people enjoy their condiments without the contempt and whispers of you hipsters and food snobs. Ketchup lover’s we no longer have to remain silent, NO MORE!


(I’m straight on ketchup slices though, lets leave good enough a lone.)

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If you enjoyed this, check out more posts from the Just Grubbin team here! Also make sure to listen to The Just Grubbin podcast to hear us go into further detail about this and to hear all of our random irreverent takes on food, drink and whatever else.


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