JG’s Top Hangover Cures For The True Degenerate (Yes You)

We’ve all woke up on a Sunday morning (maybe evening depending on what kind of night you were having), head throbbing, bank account hurting, with nothing on but the shirt you had on the night before, your underwear and one sock on. You also know your immediate thought besides “death” is “I need something to drink and something greasy right the fuck now”. I just came back from a bachelor party and that was all the inspiration I needed to write this post. After polling members of the blog we came up with a list of hangover cures for your degenerate asses in no particular order.

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  • Gatorade, Water, Hell just some sort of liquid – As you crawl/fall out of bed the first thing you gotta do is drink something, anything. You’re body is dehydrated as fuck so lets handle that, depending on your level of hangover you may need to use whatever liquid to chase the Advil or Tylenol. My personal go to lately has been a big ass Blue Gatorade, it’s delightful, refreshing and you can feel the electrolytes trying to ease your drunken sorrows. I also heard for some people that coffee does the trick, specifically iced coffee…I wouldn’t know but it’s what I hear.

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  • A Husky Ass Breakfast Sandwich – “All the meats, literally just throw the whole pig on a bagel or something and grab a Gatorade” This was essentially the response I got from Walker, Wayne and Leer. I don’t do all the meats often, I usually go bacon egg and cheese on a everything bagel, but their not lying. You need that good grease to soak up last nights woes, and the couple times I have gotten multiple breakfast meats on a sandwich it was definitely delicious. Now your heart may stop later on but that’s not what’s important right now, trying to stop that head from throbbing is the main goal. MK said she goes with the breakfast burrito, which would definitely do the trick if it’s made right. For a quick fast food option Mo goes with the “Steak, egg white and cheese from McDonalds with a hashbrown and a cold as fuck Gatorade..guaranteed to work every time”.
  • Pizza (Hot or Cold) and Wings  We’ve all done that zombie walk to the kitchen after we gather ourselves enough to actually do any sort of movement. If you have leftover pizza from the night before, most likely drunkenly ordered after the bar, grab a slice immediately. You can warm it up if you like but it’s really not necessary, just throw it down your gullet like a Pelican. If you wake up around noon (no judgement our whole blog are degenerates), then order a large pizza and wings…for yourself…throw on Netflix and go to work.

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  • A Big Ass Meal From Your Go To, The Diner – Grease, grease, grease and more grease is the theme here folks. You’re waitress is going to judge you and your friends for still smelling like Fireball and regret in your sweatpants and disheveled hair but who cares. The hungry man breakfast, a big ass brunch burger, disco fries….hell all of the above at once. You just need to get something in your system to soak up all the bullshit. Bop said his hungover diner go to is creamed chipped beef over white toast, with well done homefries and a side of scrapple. “Dawg. its.just.so.salty. and with a glass of water its the perfect combo. Biscuits and sausage gravy are good but nothing like chipped beef. Doesn’t even hold a flame to it.”

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  • Keep Drinking – “The hair of the dog”, “Bite the dog that bit you”, or whatever the fuck it is but yea…do what any real degenerate does. Wake up. Grab a beer and get right back after it,  and if you’re feeling real frisky…throwback a shot. Now you may be on the path towards alcoholism but you can worry about that at another time because your hangover is officially gone. No judgement here.

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  • Finally When All Else Fails – If you’re STILL hurting and your brain feels like it’s trying to escape your skull, take your hungover ass back to bed man. Sometimes you just gotta punt on the day and get another 6 hours of sleep to get back to playing shape.

If you enjoyed this, check out more posts from the Just Grubbin team here! Also make sure to listen to The Just Grubbin podcast to hear us go into further detail about this and to hear all of our random irreverent takes on food, drink and whatever else.

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