News – “Kid Calls 911 Twice to Tell the Cops He Hates Salad” – “As a young child, I’d see people eating salad and think, ‘They must be dying or, even worse, training for a marathon or something.’ To me, salad eaters never seemed happy,” comic Jim Gaffigan wrote in his book Food: A Love Story, adding “On the rare occasion that I’ve had a salad as an entree, I feel less like I’ve made a healthy choice and more that I’m being punished.”

There’s a 12-year-old in Halifax, Nova Scotia who would probably agree with him, and he took Gaffigan’s salad-related sullenness one step further, calling 911 to report the terrible salad that his parents were asking him to eat.

 According to CBC News, the boy called the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) just before 10 PM on Tuesday night, telling dispatchers that he did not like the salad that his folks had prepared. Then he called a second time to ask how quickly the cops could get there, and to “[reiterate] how much he disliked salad.”

The cops did make a trip to the kid’s house that night. Unfortunately for him, they didn’t arrest his parents for putting lettuce in a bowl, but they did give him a lecture about when it is and isn’t appropriate to call 911. (And nothing makes an already depressing dinner worse than seasoning it with a teachable moment or whatever).

Gotta hear both sides, this goes back to what I said about us needing a branch of law enforcement dedicated to food related calls like this. Like if my girl or one of my friends serves me up a plate of bullshit I should be able to make a call to the Food Police to make this situation right…or I guess I can just order a pizza..either or.

Leave a Reply