munchies.vice.com – “As a young child, I’d see people eating salad and think, ‘They must be dying or, even worse, training for a marathon or something.’ To me, salad eaters never seemed happy,” comic Jim Gaffigan wrote in his book Food: A Love Story, adding “On the rare occasion that I’ve had a salad as an entree, I feel less like I’ve made a healthy choice and more that I’m being punished.”
There’s a 12-year-old in Halifax, Nova Scotia who would probably agree with him, and he took Gaffigan’s salad-related sullenness one step further, calling 911 to report the terrible salad that his parents were asking him to eat.
The cops did make a trip to the kid’s house that night. Unfortunately for him, they didn’t arrest his parents for putting lettuce in a bowl, but they did give him a lecture about when it is and isn’t appropriate to call 911. (And nothing makes an already depressing dinner worse than seasoning it with a teachable moment or whatever).
Gotta hear both sides, this goes back to what I said about us needing a branch of law enforcement dedicated to food related calls like this. Like if my girl or one of my friends serves me up a plate of bullshit I should be able to make a call to the Food Police to make this situation right…or I guess I can just order a pizza..either or.
