News – “Innocent Burrito Was ‘The Only Casualty’ in Car Crash, Sheriff Says” – If you drove past the flashing police lights surrounding a single-vehicle car crash in Corbett, Oregon, you’ll be glad to know that there were no casualt—OH GOD A BURRITO HAS BEEN INJURED WHERE ARE THE HELICOPTERS WHY IS EVERYONE STILL STANDING HERE?!

As reported by KOMO News, the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Department was called to the scene of a crash, reportedly caused by the driver’s dinner. “The 20 y/o driver of this vehicle was distracted while eating a burrito and ended up down the side of Corbett Hill Road,” the Department tweeted. “Driver did not sustain any injuries… the burrito was the only casualty.” The Multnomah County PD also added the hashtags #DistractedDriving and #DontEatAndDrive.

“Thoughts and prayers for the burrito,” one commenter responded, while someone with a default Twitter photo harrumphed “Millennial.”

Although we mourn the loss of any burrito, at least this one didn’t suffer. That can’t be said for a burrito that was senselessly sacrificed during a road-rage incident in Florida. In June 2015, Lake County Sheriff’s Deputy Thomas Jones Thompson turned on a siren and pointed a gun at Charles Christopher and his wife, Sarah Nelson Newcomb, accusing them of running two stop signs. The couple ignored Thompson—who was driving his personal vehicle at the time—and continued driving.

Damn son, I’m happy he’s okay but for him to end up on the side of the road that burrito must have been banging. Have some patience folks and just wait until you get to the crib, we can’t have perfectly good burritos dying for no reason out here. RIP to that burrito smh.

Image result for pour one out for the homies gif

Leave a Reply