Liquid Assets (Ocean City, MD)

Ahhh OCMD. Those 4 letters, immediately bring back young adult memories – especially the smell and sounds of the ocean, boardwalk, and Seacrets. But now that I’m a little older, a little less of a degenerate, and much more washed up, I come to OCMD to relax on the beach, read a book/catch up on podcasts (check out Episode 31 when you get a chance!!) and just live the good washed up life. Part of that now includes finding the most incredible spots to eat. At the recommendation of my lovely girlfriend, a native of Maryland with a vacation spot here in Ocean City, I tried Liquid Assets.

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When she first told me about the joint, she raved about 1. The quality of the food, 2. The quantity of the food and 3. The atmosphere and set up of the restaurant. Less rave-worthy is item 4. The first come, first serve seating (honestly not the end of the world).

So let me take you backwards on this 4 part countdown and begin with #4. So as she described LA, she kept bringing up how for sure we’d have to wait to get a seat. I said all right no problem what can that wait really be? 20-30 minutes. Well, seeing as it was a Saturday at 7 pm, our hostess quoted our wait time “close to an hour.” We waited about 35 minutes before the hostess came over and sat us. I really really can fuck with a restaurant that is punctual with seating times. Well done, Liquid Assets.

So now #3 on this rave review list was the set up of the restaurant. Folks, this place is a full blown liquor store, with a fully functional bar/restaurant in it as well. We all know the local watering holes that will sell packaged goods, but this place, nah, 100 dollar bottles of tequila and rum lined the shelves. A wine selection that would make napa valley look small. Mix and match craft beer 6ers, 10 refrigerators of beer, No joke, any booze you want, Liquid Assets has it. Now, outside of the liquor store part, LA has wine barrels set up around the outside of the bar, and a couple little couches with coffee tables for people who have one of those hour waits to post up and grab a drink from the bar. Now I didn’t do much investigating about if it’s cool to grab a 6er from the fridges, but I did find out that there is a $10 corking fee, for wine bought at the liquor store and consumed in the restaurants. So that’s pretty dope. Because I wasn’t sure about the procedure with beer, I got a beer from the bar and sat down on a couch and posted up. By the time I was ready to grab another beer, the hostess came and took us to our seats!

#2 on the review is the quantity of food they give you. I’m always skeptical when people say dishes are pretty big at places, because, well let’s be honest, I eat a lot, and I hate being left unsatisfied after a night of eating out (that’s what she said). As a washed up football player, there was a point in my life where I was trying to eat 7000-9000 calories a day. So needless to say ya boy can put away some food. And let me tell y’all, these portions did not disappoint!

And now the final spot on the reasons to visit here is the quality. Folks, fucking banging. Everything I put in my mouth, was just absolutely fucking amazing. And if you are a steady reader of the blog, Matt Walker doesn’t review places after 1 visit unless it’s the fucking truth! And Liquid Assets is the absolute truth y’all.

Let’s start with the appies! After perusing the menu about 50 times before placing the order, the appetizer section could be the play for a small group of people looking to get in get out, and over to Seacrets or Fagers Island to dance their faces off. The amount of choices makes picking just one so hard. That’s why we chose 2. Kung Pao calamari, and their appie special of the day which was a smoked fish platter. I’m a huge fan of calamari, fried, stewed, poached, grilled, you cook it, I eat it. You make it fried and then garnish it with Kung Pao sauce, and Chinese veggies, imma eat the shit out of that! The calamari was cooked perfectly, crispy breading, tender, not too chewy, and the sauce was like taking a Mike Tyson left hook. POW! Knock out flavor, with knock out spice!! Believe me when I say this, if you can’t stand the heat, get out the kitchen. Non spicy food fans, do not attempt to eat this. But if you fucks with the spice life, get down on this masterpiece of a dish!

The 2nd dish we got was a smoked fish trio, comprised of trout, salmon and tuna. Accompanying the fish were several dips, and toppings to add to your tasting experience. I don’t think I ever had a smoked fish I didn’t like, and this was no different. The toppings and dips definitely enhanced my eating experience, because their home made mustard was absolutely amazing. First fish I picked up was the trout, smeared some mustard on and boom, the combo of the smokiness of the fish and the sweet spicy flavors of the mustard really made that bite!!! I went with the tuna next, and put their house tartar sauce on it. And other home run! The salmon was on another level. Topped with capers and red onion, like a bagel with lox, the salmon basically melted in your mouth, so Smokey and tender.

So far we’re 2 for 2 on orders. On to the entree, I’m a firm believer of always ordering something I’ll never cook myself. So unless it’s a steak house, I usually steer away from steaks, because I make a pretty damn good one. But for some reason, their 24 oz cowboy ribeye was calling my name. Served over fingerling potatoes, onions and eggplant, the steak comes out looking like that brontosaurus rib Fred Flintstone takes down in the opening credits of the Flintstone’s. This thing was massive, so massive it got a couple gasps and oh my’s from the neighboring couples around us. Even one lady said “you’re gonna eat all that?” My reply was, “what’s the average time for some one to eat a 24 oz steak? I’m gonna beat it by half.” And I did, it took me 18 minutes to polish off my plate. The perfectly cooked, juicy, tender meat, melted like butter as it entered my mouth. Rubbed in a Chile fennel spice blend, each bite brought with it a burst of flavor, on top of an already an amazing cut of meat! I identify myself as quite the carnivore, if it breathed at one point I’m gonna eat it. And I have had some really good steaks from some really amazing historic places, but I must say this steak has entered my top 5 of all time.

Last but not least, time for dessert. You’re probably asking yourself how can some one eat all of this food in one sitting? Well remember I split the apps with my girlfriend, and 2 I’m not a school boy bitch!! Enter their homemade citrus glazed donuts. Fresh out the fryer, the warm dough, crispy on the outside, soft melty and chewy on the inside, drizzled – or actually – doused in this amazing citrus glaze was truly the icing on top of an absolutely spectacular meal!


If you enjoyed this, check out more posts from the Just Grubbin team here! Also make sure to listen to The Just Grubbin podcast to hear us go into further detail about this and to hear all of our random irreverent takes on food, drink and whatever else.

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