foodbeast.com – Sometimes, you just don’t know what you’re absolutely terrified of until it’s staring at you dead in the face.
One of those things is the “chicken teddy bear,” which is literally a teddy bear made out of raw chicken pieces that were oh-so-delicately and macabrely sewed together by its creator, “Maggie from Metairie” in New Orleans.
Advertised on Facebook Marketplace by Maggie as a “great family activity,” this foul fowl is also allegedly “edible and can be cooked.” Although the ad is now removed from Facebook, the chicken bear was initially priced at $35, or $25 if you provided your own chicken. Maggie had also offered to make clothes for your chicken bear, possibly at an additional cost.
Of course, The Internet jumped on the chance to express their genuine fear and disgust of the chicken bear as soon as it went viral:
So what makes this bear so incredibly unnerving? Possibly because all the sewing is so reminiscent of horror films like Silence of the Lambs, Tusk, or even The Human Centipede.Or maybe because it’s just an absolute mess of a salmonella outbreak just waiting to happen.
It’s highly questionable if this ad was genuine to begin with, but one can’t help but wonder what this nightmare bear would have look like once fully cooked.
Either way, we’ll pass.
I’m terrified and pretty sure this is precrime. Tom Cruise needs to come and arrest Maggie right the fuck now and also check her basement and freezers because lord knows there’s gotta be a body in there somewhere or a severed head.