News – ” ‘Identity condiments’: has millennials’ social justice killed mayonnaise?” – Millennials’ mayo aversion apparently has some Americans concerned over changing demographics

It’s a tough time for mayonnaise. Over the last few decades, foreign condiments have been coming in droves to the US and stealing all the sandwiches. And it’s not just the migrants attacking America’s good, old-fashioned nutritional values; the gays are also at it. One of the top items on the Gay Agenda (US edition) is the complete elimination of mayonnaise from the American diet. We have come for your wedding cakes and now we are intent on queering your condiments. If something isn’t done soon, the mayonnaise Americans know and love won’t exist any more. Instead, everyone will be eating politically correct “identity condiments”.

Please don’t deport the messenger. I did not invent the notion of “identity condiments”, though I rather wish I had – I am simply filling you in on a viral Philadelphia magazine article called How Millennials Killed Mayonnaise. “The inexorable rise of identity condiments has led to hard times for the most American of foodstuffs,” Sandy Hingston writes. “And that’s a shame.”

Hingston’s article is less about millennials and mayonnaise, and more about the fact that America’s demographics are changing in a way many people find unpalatable. Instead of clothing her fear of a changing America in an argument about “economic anxiety”, however, Hingston dresses it up as light-hearted “gastronomic anxiety”. The article is well worth reading because it acts as an illuminating – albeit inadvertent – satire on much of the current discourse around “identity politics” and diversity.

Ahhhh a tale as old as time….(Insert generation) has killed off (insert whatever popular item from the past)….it doesn’t matter at the end of the day guys…people are going to eat whatever the hell they like and purchase whatever the hell they like. Everything basically comes full circle.

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