News – “Naked man starts house fire while baking cookies on George Foreman grill” – NICEVILLE — Responding to a house fire last week, Niceville police officers and firefighters encountered an odd sight.

When firefighters got to the home around 5:30 p.m., they could see smoke coming from inside. A naked man opened the front door, said, “I’m sorry” and closed the door.

Police officers arrived shortly after to assist.

The man came to the door again, left it open and went back into the house.

According to the offense report from the Police Department, the man showed no signs of understanding the danger he was in. There were several things on fire inside the home, including some towels.

An officer detained the man and removed him from the house for his own safety. Firefighters said that if he had stayed in the home much longer, he could have possibly died from smoke inhalation.

In the report, an officer said he and another officer were in the house for about five minutes and had a hard time breathing. Firefighters went inside with oxygen masks to remove the burning items.

The man admitted to drinking two liters of vodka and smoking marijuana starting around 9 a.m. that morning. He was examined at the scene and had no life threatening injuries, the report said. He refused further medical treatment.

Based on the fire department’s investigation, the man allegedly tried baking cookies on a George Foreman grill which he left unattended. The grill and cookies caught fire, so he put dry towels on top of the grill. Those caught fire, too, causing the fire to spread.

I honestly don’t even know where to begin. I’m just experiencing so many different emotions right now. 

Anger. Sir, the Forman grill is the lean mean fat elimination machine, not the lean mean, cookie baking machine. Do better babe. 
Impressed. 2 liters of vodka some weed, all since 9 am. Hella impressed. I’d burn my house down too if I was in that kind of shape. Well done sir.
Sad. What a fucking waste of fucking toll house break and bakes!  That’s enough for now, I can’t handle this emotional roller coaster of a story any more. 

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