News – “Virginia man rubbed produce on bare behind, then put it back” MANASSAS, Va. (AP) — A man is accused of rubbing his bare behind on produce at a grocery store in northern Virginia before putting the items back on display.

News outlets report 27-year-old Michael Dwayne Johnson, of Manassas, is charged with indecent exposure and destruction of property. A Manassas police release says an employee on Saturday noticed Johnson grabbing produce, pulling down his pants and rubbing the produce on his behind before putting it back.

It says the store had to destroy several pallets of produce because of Johnson’s actions. A police spokeswoman says the report lists fruit as the ruined produce. Authorities have not released a motive.
It’s unclear if Johnson has a lawyer.

I think the motive was Mr. Johnson was high as hell….or got dared to do this because those are the only 2 things that make sense here. Can you imagine rounding the corner and seeing some dude just rubbing some cauliflower on his ass?? Terrifying! 

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