wset.com – ROANOKE, Va. (WSET) — The intruder has been identified by Roanoke Police as Mary Saunders, 30, of Roanoke, and has been charged with trespassing.
A local man said he got a rude awakening last week when he discovered an intruder in his house.
“I came flying out here into the kitchen, and she’s standing right there in front of the microwave, getting ready to nuke my butter. And I told her she ‘butter’ not,” said Zach McGuire.
He said he had the woman sit on the floor and called the police.
He recommends everyone keep their doors locked and gave some advice for any future intruders and guests.
“B-Y-O-B means ‘bring your own butter,'” he said.
Okay I really need to know what the fuck she was warming up the butter for….I like to envision she drunkenly stumbled into this dudes crib, opened up the fridge and saw a bundle of crab legs and decided to get busy