Criminally Horny: Uber Eats driver charged with masturbating in car after delivering food to New Jersey woman

nj.com An Uber Eats driver has been charged with masturbating in his SUV after a making a food delivery to a 23-year-old woman Hackensack last week, police said Wednesday.

Vinicius Porto, 30, of Newark, faces a charge of lewdness and is scheduled to appear in court on Wednesday, authorities said.

Uber Eats driver Vinicius Porto, 30, of Newark, faces a lewdness charge.
Uber Eats driver Vinicius Porto, 30, of Newark, faces a lewdness charge.

Porto made the Uber Eats delivery to the 23-year-old woman at 4:43 p.m. on Thursday, but the woman told police the bag of food was unstapled and she thought it was odd, authorities said. She approached the driver’s SUV still parked outside her house to inquire and saw him masturbating in the front seat, police said. She pulled out her cell phone and recorded the incident before Porto fled, police said.

I have no idea whats going on in New Jersey but there seems to be a horny epidemic going on that no one can explain….this story here was the first case of the horny that I heard about in the spring and it’s been story after story after that. I just don’t understand. Is this how we end up in some bizarro Horny World War Z?! Also what if Vinicius wasn’t getting his rocks off to the customer…what if his fetish is successful food deliveries? People are fuckin weird. Either way if you’re in New Jersey I would be careful because the horny seems to be getting spreading and impacting everybody.

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