A Compilation of Florida Food Related Headlines From 2018

As everyone knows by now we like to scour the web and find the funniest, most outrageous food headlines out there to give our commentary on and we also use those to produce the radio show ( coming back in Jan 2019, listen to episode 39 here). We started to notice a trend after awhile though, and that trend being…the more outrageous the headline the more likely it took place in Florida. Look anyone from Florida reading this I apologize if this offends you but you know damn well there’s something different in the water down there…you had people eating peoples faces off not to long ago and that seems normal now.

Thanks to this hilarious scene from the sitcom Atlanta we now have the “Florida Man” twitter account, a must follow (besides us obviously) for hilarious news headlines.

I simply Googled “Florida news” just now and these are some the first images that come up, it’s truly a magical degenerate meth filled state and I for one appreciate everyone that makes it easier for us to create content.

Now with all that being said, here’s a compilation of the best Florida food related headlines we’ve blogged in 2018.


1) MAN SAYS MCDONALD’S WORKER SPIKED HIS DRINK WITH TIDE POD

“Yeaaaa ummmm my Mcflurry tastes a little off”


2) WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER HIDING STOLEN MEAT IN HER PANTS


Can you imagine witnessing this arrest go down? You see this woman getting frisked and then all of a sudden she starts pulling out porterhouse steaks and chicken wings…i love you Florida.


3) FLORIDA WOMAN, 42, NABBED AFTER BRAZEN CRUSTACEAN HEIST AT RED LOBSTER


Gabel explained that since she was “blacked out drunk,” she “did not care because she did not do anything wrong”

That is one of the best quotes that I’ve read in a long long time, and yo are right Kimberly…if I don’t remember it, it didn’t happen…btw peep the rap sheet, Kim definitely likes to party.


4) MAN FINDS SHITTY UNDERWEAR WITH HIS UBER EATS MEAL


“I grabbed the food and right when I got the food she took off running and I was like, ‘That was kind of odd,’” Leo said.

And what happened next would change Leos life forever….


5) FLORIDA OFFICER ACCUSES BURGER KING OF PUTTING DIRT IN FOOD. TURNS OUT, IT WAS SEASONING

I mean the headline and this picture…wooo buddy the jokes write themselves


6) #NOMOREMAYO: NORTH FLORIDA TOWN CHANGES NAME TO MIRACLE WHIP


“We wanted to make it a good time for the town,” said Molly White, brand manager with Miracle Whip, which also handed out jars of its product and caps and shirts proclaiming “Proud to be from Miracle Whip, Florida”

Someone get me one of those shirts ASAP!


7) NAKED MAN STARTS HOUSE FIRE WHILE BAKING COOKIES ON GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL


The man admitted to drinking two liters of vodka and smoking marijuana starting around 9 a.m. that morning. 

Sounds like another lovely Wednesday morning in sunny Florida


8) MONKEY BITES KID AT RESTAURANT IN…YOU GUESSED IT…FLORIDA


It’s not everyday you go to a restaurant for a nice meal and go home with a monkey bite.

No…you don’t…unless you’re dining in Florida


9) FLORIDA MEN, 1 DRESSED IN BULL COSTUME, ACCUSED OF TRYING TO BURN DOWN HOUSE WITH RAGU SAUCE


“He was trying to make it look like I left the stove on but who gets up 2 a.m. and fixes sketti,” the victim said.

I couldn’t have said it better myself, who DOES get up at 2 a.m. to fix some sketti?!


10) MAN TOLD POLICE HE WASN’T DRINKING WHILE DRIVING, JUST AT STOP SIGNS


A Florida man came up with an interesting defense when confronted by officers

If a movie or TV trailer simply said this and then went to a blank screen I would immediately be all in, you never know where that could lead you.


11) FLORIDA WOMAN BUSTED FOR CALLING 911 TO GET BEER


T

The 57-year-old called 911 twice — just after 12 noon and just before 4 p.m. — claiming she had a medical emergency

Listen, if craving a 6 pack of Natty Daddy isn’t a emergency then I have no idea what is


12) GENIUS TRIES TO PAY FOR HIS MCDONALDS WITH WEED

You don’t even need to click the article to read more details….the mugshot lets us know everything we need to know about this headline.


13) MAN CAUGHT ON CAMERA SHOVING ENTIRE SUBWAY FOOTLONG DOWN HIS PANTS


“While inside the business, the suspect concealed a foot long sandwich in the front of his pants. Now, stop right there. We know what you are thinking,” they wrote on Facebook. “Please resist—this is a respectable Facebook page. We are just reporting the facts.”

Just like we’re trying to do…report the facts and only the facts…like Subway isn’t worth stealing and CERTAINLY not worth shoving down your pants bro


14) FLORIDA DEPUTY HURLS BUSH BEAN CANS TO SUBDUE SUSPECT

Please please please watch the video, the deputy was in there throwing those baked beans like a young Dan Marino man, i’m dying laughing like this is my first time seeing this.


15) FLORIDA MAN IN MONSTER MASK ATTACKS PIZZA EMPLOYEE, GETS SHOT


And there you have it, our wrap up of the most Florida headlines we’ve blogged in 2018. All I can really say is, don’t you ever change Floridians and keep providing us with electric headlines in 2019.


If you enjoyed this, check out more posts from the Just Grubbin team here! Also make sure to listen to The Just Grubbin podcast to hear us go into further detail about this and to hear all of our random irreverent takes on food, drink and whatever else.

Advertisements

One Comment

Leave a Reply